Says It All **

"Grief maybe a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve, it's life, it's loss, it's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad.. the thing we have to try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive, when it hurts so much you can't breathe.. that's how you stay alive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much."
- Grey's Anatomy

And now, I can't breathe.

As I Lie On The Floor **

Once in awhile, there is always a shredding moment that creeps upon me, to get through to the exterior barrier of the chambers that holds my every single emotion. It’s one of those ever time-consuming nights where I lie on the hard wooden floor that sends a striking coldness to the outer surface of my skin. The itch of temporary iciness makes me feel numb, which is amusing as I’m already numb to begin with. Every single inch of the four plastered walls that surround my existence, is confining my every individual thought, hiding all my eruptions of words to ever escape to the reality of the outside world. I lie here breathing with every breath, contemplating what to make of the purpose of my life, where the destination is and why am I feeling like I got off the train to early in this ride. Vast memories of the past are lingering in my mind like a series of movie clips – as I wonder to myself.... why am I lonely?

Why do I feel alone?..

Currently listening to: Rosi Golan - Come Around ♪